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A Tale of Privacy and Glitter

I’ve been happily married to Richard for three years. We enjoy a fulfilling life in the suburbs, thriving careers, and a strong, loving bond.

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Yet, one small issue has been quietly gnawing at me.

Whenever Monica and I meet in person, she greets me warmly, wrapping me in hugs and calling me “dear” or “honey.” But when my back is turned?

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That’s when her true performance begins.

I recall a particular moment during a family BBQ Richard and I were hosting. While I was tossing salads in the kitchen, I overheard Monica chatting with Richard’s cousin in the living room.

Monica has a knack for always pointing out something to critique.

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The day was going smoothly until Monica arrived, carrying her own “emergency pie.” Her reasoning? She “wasn’t certain everyone would enjoy MY dishes!”

But the most striking incident?

That happened during our housewarming party when Monica pulled Richard aside in the garage.

“Richard, darling,” she began, her voice low and sweet,

“I’m only worried for you. Katie seems lovely, but don’t you think you moved too quickly into this marriage? Sarah from church has a wonderful daughter who just graduated medical school.

She’s always asking about you, you know. It’s a pity you never considered her.”

Richard was quick to respond. “Mom, I’m in love with Katie.

Please stop suggesting other women. I’m happily married!”

These moments were frustrating, no doubt, but I could manage them. What I couldn’t tolerate, however, was Monica’s relentless curiosity about our bedroom.

To this day, I’m puzzled about what she hoped to uncover.

Whatever it was, she was determined to find it.

It started three months ago during a dinner party when Monica excused herself to use the restroom. We have a tidy guest bathroom right off the living room. But no, she insisted on using the one in our master bedroom upstairs.

“Oh, I prefer a more secluded bathroom,” she explained when Richard raised an eyebrow.

“You never know who’s been in those guest bathrooms.”

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It struck me as peculiar, but I held my tongue.

A few minutes after she went upstairs, I quietly followed.

“Monica? What are you doing here?” I asked, catching her in our room.

“Oh! Katie!” she spun around, eyes wide with surprise.

“I was only searching for the bathroom.”

“The bathroom is through that door,” I pointed out firmly.

“The one you haven’t even approached since you came up here.”

“Well, I… I got disoriented. These large houses can be so tricky to navigate! So many doors!” She let out an uneasy chuckle.

“While I’m here, though, I noticed your dresser could use some tidying. I’d be glad to share my organizing tips sometime…”

Later that night, after Monica left, I shared everything with Richard.

“Rich, your mom was rummaging through our personal belongings! Our private papers!

Our drawers!” I paced the bedroom, my voice rising. “This isn’t right! What was she looking for?”

“Katie, come on,” he replied calmly.

“I’m sure she was just confused. Mom wouldn’t do that. She probably just lost her way looking for the bathroom.”

“Lost?

This isn’t the first time she’s done this, and you know it. I’ve had enough! I’m putting a lock on our bedroom door.

The same kind we installed on the home office.”

I reminded myself to secure the door.

But then, I couldn’t locate the key anywhere. After searching for nearly 30 minutes, Richard admitted he had it.

“Alright, fine,” I said. “But on one condition.

Let me dust some glitter on the doorknob. If your mom doesn’t try to enter, there won’t be an issue, right?”

He agreed, likely thinking I was being overly dramatic.

We hurried upstairs and found Monica standing by our bedroom door, sparkling from head to toe in golden glitter.

“You!” Monica glared, resembling an irate disco ball.

“You planned this! Richard, see what your wife has done to me!”

Sally gasped, rushing to her mother’s side.

“Katie, how could you? Mom, your new cashmere sweater! It’s ruined!”

I couldn’t suppress a grin.

“Monica, if you’d used the guest bathroom like everyone else, this wouldn’t have happened. Why were you trying to get into our bedroom again?”

“Katie, this is outrageous,” Richard stepped in. “You’ve gone too far.”

“I’ve never been so mortified in my life!” Monica exclaimed.

“Sally, we’re leaving.

And Richard, you need to reflect on the kind of woman you’ve chosen to marry!”

“The kind of woman who values her privacy?” I retorted. “Maybe you should consider why you’re so fixated on snooping through our bedroom!”

Richard confronted me later, visibly upset by my actions.

“That was entirely uncalled for,” he said.

“You embarrassed my entire family. Mom will probably be finding glitter in her hair for weeks.”

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